Can EMDR therapy make me feel worse before I feel better, or are there side effects?

Temporary emotional sensitivity, vivid dreams, or light fatigue after a session are normal—they indicate your nervous system is actively processing stuck material between sessions. However, EMDR should never destabilize your life. As an experienced EMDR therapist in Brentwood, LA, I never rush into raw trauma work. We spend time stabilizing your nervous system and building robust somatic tools first, ensuring you process heavy memories safely without getting overwhelmed.

I see you offer telehealth throughout California. How does bilateral stimulation work online?

Virtual EMDR is just as clinically effective as in-person therapy. During online telehealth sessions across California, we use specialized virtual bilateral stimulation (BLS) tools including visual light bars on screen, alternating auditory tones through headphones, or guided self-tapping. Whether you work with me in my Brentwood office or via secure telehealth, the core neurobiological mechanism that processes stuck memories remains identical.

Do I have to talk about my trauma in detail during our sessions?

No. Unlike traditional talk therapy, EMDR does not require you to rehash agonizing details out loud. You simply hold a target memory, negative belief, or physical sensation in your mind while we run bilateral stimulation. Your brain does the heavy lifting internally, allowing you to unburden deep trauma cleanly without retraumatizing yourself through endless verbal retelling.

You mention ensuring I am "resourced first." What does the resourcing phase actually look like?

Resourcing is the foundational prep work (Phase 2 of EMDR) that guarantees your nervous system stays grounded. Before targeting painful memories, we build your internal toolkit using somatic grounding techniques, safe-state visualizations, and clear session boundaries (including an immediate stop signal). We only advance to trauma processing when your system is steady, regulated, and fully equipped to handle emotional shifts.

What does an Attachment-Focused EMDR (AF-EMDR) session feel like compared to standard EMDR?

Standard EMDR typically targets single-incident traumas like accidents or acute events. Attachment-Focused EMDR (AF-EMDR) is tailored for developmental trauma, childhood emotional neglect, or relational wounds where no single memory exists. In an AF-EMDR session, we actively integrate the therapeutic relationship, somatic awareness, and custom resource interweaves to repair the deep, lingering impact of feeling unseen, unprotected, or chronically alone.

Will EMDR erase my memories or change my personality?

No. EMDR will not erase your memories or change who you are. It systematically digests the visceral, high-intensity charge locked inside a traumatic memory. After successful EMDR processing, you still remember what happened, but the memory shifts into a neutral historical fact rather than a present-day threat driving panic, hypervigilance, or anxiety. It strips away the survival weight so your authentic self can step forward.

Relationship Trauma Therapist · LA

Relationship Trauma Therapy. For What
Someone Left in your Nervous System.

Relationship trauma therapist in LA. Susan Quinn Therapist, LMFT Attachment-Focused EMDR for relational harm, betrayal, narcissistic and abusive relationship recovery, and the patterns that won’t quit on their own.

AF-EMDR

Attachment-Focused Approach

Betrayal · Abuse · Loss

Relational Trauma Targets

Pattern-Level

Repair, Not Just Coping

What relationship trauma actually is

The Harm didn't end When the Relationship Did.

Most people seeking anxiety therapy have already tried coping tools, mindfulness, or medication yet the anxiety keeps returning because it isn’t just a thinking problem. It’s a nervous system response shaped by stress, fear, or past experiences.

My approach focuses on calming the body’s alarm system, not just managing thoughts. Using EMDR, nervous system regulation, and trauma-informed therapy, we work to reduce chronic vigilance so your mind and body can finally feel safe again.

What relationship trauma therapy addresses

The Relational Injuries this
Practice Works with.

Betrayal trauma.

Infidelity, deception, the discovery that the relationship you thought you were in was something else.

Narcissistic and emotionally abusive relationships.

Recovery from coercive control, gaslighting, chronic emotional invalidation.

Domestic violence recovery.

The trauma left behind by physical, sexual, or pattern-of-coercive-control abuse.

High-conflict divorce and breakups.

Acute loss, identity disruption, and the trauma layered into prolonged separation.

Family-of-origin wounds.

Patterns from caregivers — neglect, enmeshment, parentification, emotional unavailability.

Attachment patterns in current relationships.

Anxious, avoidant, or disorganised attachment expressing itself now.

Unsafe friendships and chosen-family rupture.

The trauma of being abandoned, betrayed, or harmed by people you trusted outside romantic relationships.

Is this practice the right fit?

Where Relationship Trauma
Therapy Tends to Help.

My approach to relationship trauma is specialised primarily AF-EMDR and trauma-informed individual therapy. Here’s the honest fit picture.

This may be a good fit if

You're recovering from a specific relational harm betrayal, abuse, sudden loss.
You see the same patterns showing up across relationships and want to change that.
You've left a narcissistic or emotionally abusive relationship and need help putting yourself back together.
Earlier family-of-origin material is showing up in current relationships.
You want individual work focused on you not couples therapy.
You're willing to do trauma work, not just talk about the relationship.

Another option may fit better if

You're looking for couples therapy that's a different modality.
You're still in an actively unsafe relationship safety needs to come first.
You're seeking only short-term, surface coping strategies.
You're looking for legal, financial, or advocacy support those need different specialists.

Relationship trauma therapy - Common Questions

What People Ask First.

What is relationship trauma?

Relationship trauma is the lingering nervous-system and psychological impact of relational harm — betrayal, infidelity, emotional abuse, narcissistic relationships, sudden breakups, prolonged conflict, or the accumulated weight of being unsafe with someone you loved. It can also include earlier relational wounds — caregivers, family dynamics, formative friendships — that shaped how you do closeness now.

Is this couples therapy?

No. This is individual therapy for the impact relational harm has had on you — your sense of self, your nervous system, your patterns. Couples therapy is a different modality with a different focus. I’m happy to refer you to qualified couples therapists if that’s what you’re looking for.

Can EMDR help with relationship trauma?

Yes — particularly Attachment-Focused EMDR (AF-EMDR). Standard EMDR processes specific events well; AF-EMDR is specifically built for the relational and developmental layers, which is most of what relationship trauma is. It addresses both the events and the templates they left behind.

FROM CLIENTS

In Their Own Words.

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AREAS SERVED

A Brentwood Practice.
 With Telehealth Across CA.

My office sits on San Vicente Boulevard in Brentwood minutes from Santa Monica, West LA, and Beverly Hills. For clients across California, telehealth makes the same work possible from home.

Brentwood

Primary office · 90049

Santa Monica

20 min · Telehealth

West Los Angeles

20 min · In-person

Beverly Hills

20 min · Telehealth

Pacific Palisades

20 min · Telehealth

Culver City

20 min · Telehealth

Start with a Conversation.

No commitment, no paperwork. A chance to talk through what you’re carrying and see whether EMDR and whether I might be the right fit.

Relationship Trauma Therapy. For What Someone Left in your Nervous System.

AF-EMDR

Betrayal · Abuse · Loss

Pattern-Level

The Harm didn't end When the Relationship Did.

The Relational Injuries this Practice Works with.

Betrayal trauma.

Betrayal trauma.

Narcissistic and emotionally abusive relationships.

Narcissistic and emotionally abusive relationships.

Domestic violence recovery.

Domestic violence recovery.

High-conflict divorce and breakups.

High-conflict divorce and breakups.

Family-of-origin wounds.

Family-of-origin wounds.

Attachment patterns in current relationships.

Attachment patterns in current relationships.

Unsafe friendships and chosen-family rupture.

Unsafe friendships and chosen-family rupture.

Where Relationship Trauma Therapy Tends to Help.

This may be a good fit if

Another option may fit better if

What People Ask First.

In Their Own Words.

A Brentwood Practice. With Telehealth Across CA.

Brentwood

Santa Monica

West Los Angeles

Beverly Hills

Pacific Palisades

Culver City

Start with a Conversation.

Relationship Trauma Therapy. For What
Someone Left in your Nervous System.

The Relational Injuries this
Practice Works with.

Where Relationship Trauma
Therapy Tends to Help.

A Brentwood Practice.
 With Telehealth Across CA.